my mind is coasting

I feel like my blog slash my journaling habits reflect my mind and my thought process. When I blog or journal, its because I am thinking a lot. But when I do not blog or journal for a while, it is because my mind sets its self on coast when it gets overwhelmed with thinking. This is why I have not updated. :)

One thing I have been thinking about is this. A girl here on my team that is pretty even with me on beliefs and feelings on issues, brought up to me the fact that the separation of Christians in this sinful world has become less and less. There really is no distinction in the way most Christians live, and the World. We spend more and more time justifying our sinful actions with, "I am just trying to relate" or, "Jesus drank wine, why can't we" or "Some people can handle (sin) in moderation, its when it is too much then it is a sin" kind of things and less time reaching our friends, setting clear examples, and living a life God calls us to live, set apart, not of this world.

I know this was kind of a previous blog I wrote, But it is becoming more and more clear, and heavy on my heart. And sad because honestly, this is most Christians thought process. Our minds are letting satan put even the slightest veil over our eyes, sneaking in, and hindering God's work through us by making us think doing anything that is slightly questionable is ok.

Ephesians 5 sums it up

Ephesians 5

¹ Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. ⁴ Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. ⁵ For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.^{[a] 6}Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. ⁷Therefore do not be partners with them.

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. ¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

That was long, but pretty much says it all. We should encourage each other, build each other up in the spirit, instead of playing around with even the slightest of darkness.

I care for the lost, my heart hurts for the ones who may not experience Christ in his fullest because I chose to be selfish and test the waters of darkness. I am sad for the hopeless who could have seen hope in us, but instead caught us on a bad night, even if we weren't "really doing anything wrong"

I feel bad for the person who was looking for encouraging Godly friends, but instead heard me talking about someone, even if I didn't really feel what I said in my heart, But was frustrated.

Sorry this is long, But I feel like if we really get God, If we really get our calling, then our hope and desire would be to share this love, hope, and salvation with everyone we know, and live out our faith, instead of living for ourselves.

Maybe this is redundant :)

Love you all!! I am learning a lot!

Lori

Family

I am devoting the first part of my blog post to my cousin's (2nd or 3rd) ha :) that are about to be on mission in Africa for 4 years! http://www.maf.org/holmes and www.holmesmission.com. Visit these sites to see more about what they are doing!!!

It was so good to get to talk to Dave and JIll about their call to missions, what they are doing, and how they got to this point!

It helped me see that the mission process in life might not be instant, and that God may have different things for me than a single mission opportunity. if that makes sense?

Anywhoo.... go look at their site/sites and learn a little about what they are doing! it sounds great and they are offering a great trade, and I know God is and will do great things with their willing and faithful service!

New thoughts

I don't really have an update, Just thoughts.

We recently all here on the team have been discussing making wise decisions, that edify the body of believers. The more I think about this, and see how making poor decisions effect people who look up to christians, I think it is very important.

We as people in general need consistent friendships. We need honesty, openness, and transparency. We also need to be built up, and encouraged to do good.

So when we are self seeking, and make decisions that aren't necessarily bad, but definitely aren't edifying or wise, we hinder the walk or pursuit of a walk for many. When we try and hide those decisions we make, it even further hinders relationships, because it makes the non believer, or person we are trying to encourage to the Lord, feel we are preaching goodness and a life that pleases the Lord, but we ourselves don't really believe in that life.

Maybe this is taking a life that pleases the Lord to an extreme, but I feel that if we all truly want to live missionally, and a life that does in fact please the Lord, we need to be open, honest, and transparent, and edify the body of believers, and leave the petty self seeking actions aside, for the sake of the gospel, and the sake of the people who are looking at us to find something better. Basically we should all be consistent, honest with our friends, edifying, and not shady. :)

Love you all and miss you!

I want faith ha

So I decided to post on my heart, as well as an update on the trip so far.

Here is what is going on in my heart.

I wish I had faith. Unconditional faith. For instance, some people are able to go on airboat rides and be amazed by God and what he is doing, while I go on airboat rides and and consistently am analyzing everything and questioning. Or we hear a great sermon on the church, and our role in it, and some eagerly agree and it encourages them to go fourth and be the church, while I sit there and analyze everything he says and question his words first, figure out what I think on the issue, and then maybe if I figure all that out, implement my eventually found desire to be what I kind of think the church should be.

Or someone will tell me that they think women shouldn't preach to men, and then my mind is from then on locked deep into itself thinking what I think men and women's roles should be, why I think that, why other people should think that, and then it just leads on from there ha.

Or I find myself questioning all sorts of things, that maybe If we talk I will tell you ha.

I want to learn how to have a balanced life of questioning and skepticism, but that doesn't overpower me serving the Lord. I want to have a faith that serves the Lord and has full confidence. I want other people to see my confidence in the Lord. I want to have firm opinions on issues, not for debate, but for my minds sake.

anywhoo... that is where I am ha.

Hello!
well we've almost completed our second week! This week I got to start at Give kids the world. It is so amazing. It is like a life size candy land. You can just see the joy in the kids faces, and most of their families ha! I have been able to so far work in Katie's kitchen, which is a boston market type place they can order food at all day, and i have also worked in the express breakfast, that is in the ice cream shop where it is fast breakfast so they can get about their day. Jaylan, my partner from GoNow has gotten to work in the gingerbread house, where it is more a sit down place to eat, and you can have conversations with the families. It is so magical! Today I will be in the la ti da spa, and then tonight I will be at Mayor Clayton's birthday celebration, painting faces! Hope they give me easy things to paint ha. Every thursday is Christmas at GKTW. So my partner savannah will be taking pictures of the kids with santa. How fun!

On another note, I got to meet the church I will be working with all summer. It is a Hatian church... (they are from haiti). I will be helping them start up and organize their worship team! It will be a good experience. They already have people together, I will just help them get it more organized, and add a guitar! I love their worship, it is very spirit led. This church has only been going since April, so it is cool to be apart of a new church plant. I am also excited because I get to be a part of international ministry even though I'm in orlando! (There are a lot of international ministry opportunities, because of all the tourists.)

Our supervisor Suzette told us of how we are able to reach some internationals, that missionaries in their actual country wouldn't be able to reach because of their social status. But because they are in america, we can minister to them. I never thought of it that way, but it makes since.

Sorry this is so long :)

Everything is going great. We start kids clubs next week. Im really excited. This place is so great because we are getting a chance to do ALL types of ministry, God is going to do great things. He has provided great spiritual leaders to encourage us this summer, and we are all connecting really well too, so I feel like we will all be able to grow this summer, and have encouragement as we all do our ministries.

Also, I should come back tan, so be ready :) jk ... but really :)

On a fun note, I got to go airboating!! like in water boy. and my team held an alligator, I did not, but I chose not too haha.... not my thing :)

One more thing. Today is My sister Shelly's birthday... sooo HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

miss you all. and I love you all!!

Things to pray for
Satan would stay away... and doubt would stay away.
we would continue to grow as a team
The people at the hatian church,
the people we will be ministering to at GKTW and Kids Clubs.


Thanks for your support!!

Lori

Florida update 5/26

Hey guys!

Well I just finished my first day in florida. I really like it a lot. My flights were all smooth, and everyone here is really nice. Today we just hung out at the camp where we are staying until everyone got here, and then around 5 we started our Florida state mission organization orientation. We had a speaker talk to us about living missionally. It was great to hear. One thing I really liked was he said that we shouldn't short change the people we interact with because we let insecurities rule our lives. Instead, we should be confident in the fact that we are Loved and valuable, and then we should live out that love, and share it with others. I think that is so true in living missionally because sometimes we let insecurities prevent us from ministering to people the way God wants us to, and that is not fair to the people that deserve to experience that love that we have received. anywhooo.... it was really good!!

On another note, I really think God has great things planned for this summer. All the people here really seem to love the Lord.
- Our orientation lasts the rest of the weekend and then I will start Give kids the world next week, and will start kids clubs a week from tuesday.

Things to pray for:

community to be built among all our team members
each community ministry to begin smoothly
the hearts of the people we will be ministering to.

P.S. we were all playing music, and this girl from Alabama asked if I could play some southern gospel... and i said oooo yes :)

This thing should have at least one post.

So I have this blog and I never use it. It looked kind of lonely!

I'm not quite sure I understand the purpose of a blog, whether it be to express your thoughts, and have people read them? Or to keep people you don't see much, updated about your life. Either way. I'm down :)

so here's my thoughts.

I was thinking that ... I think too much. really. I do. because I was thinking about my personality, and how I am always evaluating it, comparing it to others, and looking at ways I should change it, to be "more normal" and not stand out as much. I worry that people think I am too dramatic, too over analyzing, too self conscious, To insecure, and too impressionable. I also worry that I am not smart enough, not well liked, and not a good leader. I analyze these things, and then try to change them, but then I always find my opinion changing due to someone elses stated opinion, without even realizing it haha. oops.

but here is my conclusion. So what if these are my qualities. Maybe I am just super honest with myself and realize things that aren't too great about myself. I realize I am these things, and I realize I dont have to be. But I also realize this is me. Its what makes me, me, and I think I try to be other people. Not that those people aren't great, and that I shouldn't learn from them, but its ok to be me too. :)

So for now, I will just take in, learn, and continue to be refined daily. (and continue to analyze everything :)...)

Peace suckas. (is that me?) lol

Lori